“C’mon, everyone’s doing it.” - “It’s the in thing” - “Don’t you
want to be cool?”
These and many other key phrases are heard time and time again
by many teens just like you during middle school and high
school. You may hear it from a good friend, someone you like or
someone who you may want to be friends with. The key to peer
pressure is to not let these phrases affect your judgment. You
are your own person, you should think for yourself and the fact
that you’re a unique individual makes you cool all by itself.
Your response in situations where you are confronted with
pressure to do things that you know may harm you or may get you
in trouble is what makes you who you are.
At some point everyone has a desire to fit into a group. If
you’re interested in sports you may find yourself hanging out
with the “jocks”, if you like music you may find yourself
hanging out with others who also like music. You “belong” to
that group, and it makes you feel more secure to be a part of
it. The group helps you to identify who you are and what you’re
all about. But what happens if other people in “your group”
start doing things that are wrong or illegal? What if these same
people try to get you involved by making you feel as if you
won’t fit in if you don’t do what they are doing? This is where
you will be faced with some challenging decisions. Do you
conform to the behaviors, attitudes and habits of “your group”
or do you make and your own decision and do what you know is
right? Making decisions on your own is hard enough, but when
other people get involved and try to pressure you one way or
another it can be even harder. Peer pressure is something
everyone has to deal with, even adults, so learning how to deal
with peer pressure now will make decision making easier now and
in the future.
Peers influence you life, even if you don’t realize it, just by
spending time with you. You learn from them and they learn from
you. It is human nature to listen and learn from others in your
age group. Peers can have a positive influence on each other
also.
- Maybe another student in science class taught you an
easy way to remember the planets of the solar system.
- Maybe someone on the soccer team taught you a cool trick
with the ball.
- You may admire a friend who is good at sports and try to
be more like him/her.
- Maybe you get everyone excited about a new book that
you’re reading and now everyone’s reading it.
There are examples of positive peer pressure in everyone’s
everyday life, but what happens when the peer pressure you
experience is not so positive? For example…..
- A few kids at school may try to get you to cut class
with them.
- Someone might try to convince you to be mean to another
class mate.
- A kid in your neighborhood may try to convince you to
shoplift with him. These are all examples of negative peer
pressure and some of these behaviors you may be pressured to
do may have serious consequences.
It is very important to realize that there may be risks
involved with your actions if you decide to go along with “your
group”. The best way to face peer pressure is to realize the
consequences that may come along with the behavior. Ask
yourself:
- Is the risk worth having this conditional friendship
with your group?
- Do you really think that your whole group will stop
being friends with you if you do not participate?
- Is getting in trouble or risking your life worth being
friends with your group?
Some kids give in to peer pressure because they want to be
liked, want to fit in, or because they worry other kids will
make fun of them if they don’t go along with their group. There
will be some tough decisions for you to make, so let’s look at
walking away from peer pressure.
It is tough to be the only one who says no to peer pressure, but
you can do it.
- Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about
what is wrong and right can help you know the right thing to
do.
- Your own inner strength and inner confidence can help
you stand firm and resist doing something when you know
better.
- It can also really help to have at least one other peer
who has values similar to yours that is willing to say “no,”
too.
This takes a lot of power out of peer pressure and makes it
easier to do what you know is right. You have probably had a
parent or teacher advise you to “choose your friends wisely”
and this is why – having a friend who has good values and
inner strength can help you stick with your friend when others
around you go off on the wrong path.
Even when you are alone and faced with negative peer pressure
there are still things you can do.
- You could simply stay away from the peer group that
tends to pressure you to do things that you know are wrong.
- You could just simply tell them “no” and walk away.
- Find other friends or classmates to hang out with.
If you face peer pressure with a realistic attitude and
listen to you inner values, nine times out of ten you will make
the right decision. If you continue to face peer pressure
and are having difficulty dealing with it, talk to someone you
trust. Don’t feel guilty if you have made a few mistakes,
talking to someone can help you to feel a lot better and can
prepare you for the next time you face peer pressure.
All pressure is self-inflicted. It’s what you make of it or how
you let it rub off on you. ~ Sebastian Cole |
