Children in this age group are long on will and short on skill. That is why they are often frustrated and misbehave. Toddlers tend to make no connection between others feelings and their own. They do not yet have the capacity to "put themselves in someone else's shoes". If your toddler pulls your hair or bites you, biting or pulling their hair back only makes them howl in pain and outrage that you hurt them like that. They act as if the action (pulling hair or biting) is a  new idea for them because they do not make the association between how you feel when they do it to you and how they feel when you do it to them. They just don't see it through your eyes, they  are consumed  with their own  feelings  and oblivious of everyone else's. Another thing toddlers are great for is impatience. Even though they are watching you take the wrapper off the icy pop they want so much, they are still wailing like they will never receive it because they lack the ability to think ahead. Your toddler is right now a creature of the moment, unable to see cause and effect. They  holler when they get sticky from  the popsicle,  but  fight  off  the washcloth even though it will take the stickiness  awayor  when they  get  hollered at  for pushing buttons on the TV day after day, they still rush the next day to do the same  thing with no memory of  the previous  scolding or that there is another scolding coming.

They just simply do not have the ability  to remember detail yet. Those  buttons demand to be pressed and will draw them in like a magnet. Right now their trying hard to be big but yet their emotions and thought process are not fully developed. We as parents have to try to find a middle road between  these  dependent  and independent extremes. As we look for this middle road we need to realize that your toddler will not change into a sensible child overnight. If you set your expectations too high your child will start to feel inadequate. He needs your help and comfort and if they are withheld from him he cannot manage. If you baby your toddler they will become rebellious and if you push them they will become whiny, this middle road must encumber their need for independence and your need to protect them. You must also allow them adventure but still be able to keep them from disaster along with providing them with a firm framework for acceptable behavior while trying not to bruise their dawning sense of being their own boss. This is not an easy task but if you work to understand your toddler and let them learn from experience while still cushioning their fragile emotions you may be on your way to a less trying stage of the "Terrible Two's". Here are some do's and don'ts to help you.

1) Don't....Your toddler has a jar of olives and you have visions that there will soon me a big mess to clean up. You hastily snatch the jar from their clutches and within a millisecond you have set off a protest tantrum. You've saved your self a mess on the floor but now you have an emotional mess to take care of.

Do .... (for younger toddler) Make eye contact and divert their attention to something else they like. (for older toddler) Tell them that you will help them open the jar so she can have an olive. Be sure to communicate what she is to do with it by pointing to your mouth. This should distract them long enough for you to return the jar to a safe spot while also teaching them respect and model behavior.

2) Don't.... Your one year old is toddling toward a lamp cord and you scoop them up just before they reach for it. Your child most likely will start a protest tantrum.

Do..... get their attention by calling their name or some other cue word that will stop them in their tracks long enough to distract them. Then quickly divert him toward a safer alternative

3) Don't ..... Your toddler insists on defying you at every turn. You tell them no and they continue to precede with the behavior. Finally you get fed up and yell no. They jump at the sound and start to cry.

Do..... Don't over use the word no. The more the child hears it the more they will learn to tune it out. Find creative alternatives to using no all the time. If you take something away from your child say something like, not for you or Mommy and Daddy's. If your child is doing something and you need them to stop try stopping them mid action and explaining the reason why they need to stop. Toddlers, although they may not comprehend all you have to say, will react more pleasantly to an explanation then to something so generalized like "no". Toddlers also do not make the association that their actions caused you to yell. In general they just get frightened or startled and do not realize they caused you to react that way. Basically yelling will only make your toddler cry instead of helping you get your point across. A firm tone slightly different from your normal voice will help your toddler to better distinguish between your disciplinary tone and your regular tone. A firm tone will also eliminate fear and crying not to mention, that toddlers learn their behavior from us, this technique may help to avoid your child being loud when they are upset.

4) Don't......Do use force to show discipline. Hitting your child when they have done wrong only teaches them to use force when they want something which may cause you a lot of trouble in the future. They may also become resentful and think there is something wrong with them and that is why they are being treated so badly. If they think they are bad they will act bad all the time. Also you child does not connect the action to what they did wrong they just learn to be violent.

Do.....Find creative ways to show disproval regarding unacceptable behavior. Use time out chairs. Your toddler most likely will not stay seated so you will have to take a moment to stand near them, without making eye contact, this will still make them stay put and help them realize that they can only socialize when they demonstrate expectable behavior. The best way to set time out lengths is by age. The general rules is to use their age and that is the number of minutes they will be in time out. Example a 2 year old would have a two minute time out, a 4 year old, 4 minutes and so on. Another great technique is the distract and divert method mentioned above. If they are headed toward bad behavior, distract them and quickly find something else to grab their interests. Reinforce open communication. If you child is throwing a temper tantrum, don't scold or spank them, tell them that you don't like temper tantrums and that when they are done you will talk to them. Meanwhile ignore the tantrum, when they are done and back to acceptable behavior, sit them down and have a calm discussion in simple language about the cause of the tantrum and why it is unacceptable. This will show your toddler that tantrums do not help them get their own way nor do they drawn your attention. They will soon stop all together.

Observe your child's behaviors to see when they have had enough. If a child if full or not hungry they will generally turn their head away when offered a bite or they will not open their mouth willfully. Do not push food on a child who is not hungry, but kids should not be allowed to eat on demand all day long either. Maintain a regular schedule of meals and snacks so your kid will come to expect that food will be available at certain times of the day.

Your toddler will also continue to explore self feeding, first with the fingers and then with utensils around 15 to 18 months. Give your child time to practice these skills, but lend a hand if they get frustrated. as skills develop, step back and let your child take over.

Milk is a very important part of a toddlers diet. Your child should drink whole milk up until age 2, for it has the dietary fats they need for normal growth and brain development. After age 2 you may introduce your child to low-fat or nonfat milk if you choose for their need for dietary fats reduce after that. Between 12-18 months will be a good time for you to transition your child to a cup. Instead of cutting out bottles all at once, gradually eliminate them from the feeding schedule, starting at meal time. Offer your child a cup of milk during dinner and gradually increase the use of the cup thereafter.

You are now starting to introduce some foods that are new to your child such as citrus fruit, eggs, milk you need to be watching closely for allergic reactions. You should alert your doctor if you suspect a food may be causing a certain reaction. It is recommended that you not introduce peanuts or sea food to your toddler until they are at least 3 years of age, do to the potential for severe allergic reactions. Your doctor may also recommend that you have your child tested for allergies if there is a history of food allergies in your family.

If you have any questions or concerns about your toddlers nutrition please feel free to mention it to your child's Pediatrician. We also have Nutritionists at the Seneca Nation Health System that can help answer your questions.